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So how are we? Everyone is good? No problems, no feelings hurt, no cry me a river? No? Great. Me neither, almost. The bottom part of my heart is broken. It's like you would cut of the bottom part of a glass and still hope what's in it would stay there, but it can't. I'm not sad, or am I? I'm not sure, if I would stand on a scale of feelings the scale would go around, around and around till the battery stops working. It's just that I've been trying so hard for what I knew would be nothing, or.. no it isn't nothing. There's so much there, so much of the happiness, so much of what I haven't got before. But somehow it's gone, or just up there somewhere but I can't touch it. I can't have it. I can think about, but I can't see it or touch it. It's like in the movies, you just know about but you don't know much more about it when the movie ends.

But it's cool. I've been warned, I shouldn't have any problems with this. It's been a climb and the view has been awesome. I can't wish more of what I've got on such a short time, but it is what it is. That's the story of my dreams, something in between the beautiful and the nightmares.

I hate you chch X :D